Stand up again right after you fall down!!

today i collected my exam results at about 3ish. we have to pen down our signature on a sheet of paper with our names on them before they hand us 2 envelopes. was there with yeeleng coz minying hasnt arrive yet and juliana was not able to collect due to personal reasons. i knew i had to open the envelope anyways. holding on to my breath as i start tearing the sides of the paper that's in the envelope, i flipped open the paper and quickly run thru the words on it, and trust me, time stood still for a mo'. i saw the word "fail" TWICE. i feel like a failure. i'm sorry to exaggerate but i just can't accept it at that point. sigh... i failed 2 subjects out of 6. both are chemistry. general chemistry and organice chemistry. i have to resit them on 30 december and 2 january. (so much for the holidaes, now i gotta study again) told dad thru text, he said, its okay, what to do? have to study again lor.. with a =) . he's always so supportive, made me even moredisappointed with myself. i'm so sad. i held back my tears at uni,my eyes were practically pooling with tears yet i still hold on, even when i was crusin' back home in my car, still holdin on. then back at home, dad stressed again, nevermind la.. just study again, nothing can be done already, right? that point my tears flow... then he tried comforting me again.. then it got worse! well, i bet u felt that before were when someone tries to comfort u, u cry harder?

the point is, i'm going to pass ( i HAVE to or else i have to repeat the SEMESTER and join the juniors next year which is only in July, and waste 1 WHOLE year!!!!) so, i have 2 weeks for General Chemistry, 1 week for Orranic Chemistry. i was soooooo down that i dont have the mood nor motivation to study. BUT, *CHING* not long after that, i come to my senses and semangat again, i'm quite lucky as in the point where i'm low in life does not last long. i can be VERY EXTREMELY EMOTIONAL (those ppl that over exaggerate or being melodramatic) but just in split seconds, (worse case scenario i might cry *blush*) THEN i'll be fine. its a great thing, right?? heh.

then, was telling Elaine darling about this, you know girl, what ever you told me was what i am thinking after being down, before feeling better. she said, its not THAT bad.. at least can resit, at least got a chance to prove myself again.. hehe.. then she said san
san strong wan.. cry all out sekali den nth d. i told her i sayang her coz she understand me so well. hehe. its true, that's why i appreciate the ppl around me (put aside, i'm quite an open book) at least they're always around for me. oh i feel so blessed!

i will start studying next week. hehe.

i still can go out with you peeps. no worries.. but no SOOOOOO outta control i guess, sigh. this better be worth it. and i told laine, at least my bday i'm free as a bird =D


sis went holidae as well. so left me and dad. dinner with him every night till tuesday. as for lunch which is usually late for me coz i will wake up at god knows what time, i just have my fabulous cereals those with raisins and other goodness! so yummy and healthy. sorry if i turn you ppl off, its filling for me, i've not been exercising for a while, if i eat heavy meals like chicken rice, fried noodles, those that u pack back from outside (considering mum's not in as well) i'm bound to pack on some pounds coz its day and night and i'm at home doing nothing but sleeping, watchin tele and online, sedentary life that is. so i decided to eat only at night, its would be better if i eat cereals to replace meals at night but the timing is bitch since i wake up at odd hours. *VAINPOT ALERTT!!!** hehe. i guess takin up this Nutrition and Dietetics suits me alot. coz i enjoy getting knowledge on food for our health. dont worry i wont pressure you ppl with these facts! hehe.

okay, its been quite a while since i expend my time for my dad. i've been very busy studying for exam (soon another time.. AISH) and going out till wee hours and didn't really chat with him anymore. so, i gotta run! see you!

=)