on monday, it was bao's bday. turning 19. wow, how fast time passes by, eh?
lovely bao with the bday cake bought by mae with beepeng fetching her around that reminds me * i not yet pay my share for the cake! ooopsie* hehe malu!
make a wish, make a wish... omg................................ i'm singing F4's song.. alamak CANNOT MAKE IT WEI. anyways... moving on...
blow it... blow them..... aherm... candles .. HEHE
us.. from l-r :san, mae,bao,beepeng,siva and pei li. laine, its ok u cant be here.. we paham! hehe
bao i love ya alot. appreciate these years that we have been through as close frens =)
the homies. i miss those times. =)on tuesday, nothing special/ interesting happened.. so we'll skip that day.
stories on wednesday and thursday had been removed coz i'm afraid of others viewing it? hehe. malu la! i mean other than you ppl i'm close with.
as for friday i went to check out the room that i was suppose to rent from meiyan. hehe i rented it edy. not yet pay. but, i decided to take it. RM500 for middle room got aircond , bed, and wardrobe. eh outside got astro la i saw the decoder. hehe. nice view and its rite opposite IMU. hehe. have to put tables and chairs first. then i will stay a night or two sumtimes to slowly get adjusted to it first then only will stay for the weekdays. hehe. should be alrite. my housemate is mei yan and a guy from kuantan apparently meiyan's fren too. =) so should be ok.
don't miss me too much if i'm not around here. will be back every weekend. for the moment still travelling evryday. =]
saturday, nite went yamcha with the bro. hehe. ang ang for you la.. hehe
sunday. i studied. a bit only not enough. =(
oh yeah, back to why i feel emo.
i've got alot of issues in the house. i hate it. some words are really hurtful. though i'm use to hearing it. doesnt mean i can take it regularly. doesnt mean that it has to repeat. to a fren i noe.. (you noe who you are) whatever stuffs u said that night i have thought about it b4. but i pushed it aside. trying not to think bout it. but its alrite, i noe u're very direct but no worries.. its reality that i have to face. =)
sumtimes, the inner side of me in clenching, from holding back tears. no, san san kenot shed tears in the house. she have to be strong or else my dad will worry and i dun want him to worry, and start telling me " dont think about it, u do ur part can edy" i can't. its not easy. i dun deserve this. but i have to admit, i'm really lucky to have you guys around, ppl to talk to. seriously, and its lucky that i dont learn it the wrong way and turn into some children with bad attitudes or behaviour.
ppl say it will be ok. trust me. i've live in this house and seen things long enough to noe that it wont be ok. not trying to be negative but if you dunno the whole thing u wont understand. but, i guess in a way, i'm quite strong enough also. or else i think i wont be here as i am today. rite?
oh, one more thing, tho i'm damn depressed and sad but somehow, it would last that long. hehe, the most also half a day? where i will actually forget bout it in a few hours time. and usually it happens at home. no, i dont cry. just very ill mannered. the tone that i speak will be quite hurtful at times. dad sense it but he will just think that i had a bad day.
i dunno. i really hate to be the middle person. very tiring. the blame will be on u. u think my brain are made to remember so many stuffs that doesnt concern me? if i dont pass it to one and another, i get the blame. sumtimes words are so hurtful that i have to change it to sound normal to pass it to both of them. sigh. who's ears will be the one listening to it? ME. who will be the one telling white lies? ME.
tiring. that's all i can say.
i need a good cry. that's all. then i will be fine.
good nite peeps. what will i do without you all.
dont worry i'll be fine. i promise. =]
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